If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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