we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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