sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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