Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
