you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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