dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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