butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
im holly from the hills drunk
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
