where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm bleeding and have questions
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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