Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize