i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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