ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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