Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
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Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
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Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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