hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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