What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
