It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
