I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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