I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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