Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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