Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
