that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
