We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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