Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He better not be in your backpack
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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