Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
