i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck