He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
