Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
