Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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