If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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