I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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