i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize