Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
