I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
