hotties wanna shake it
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
nutella sex= disaster
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.