I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby