david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
