Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...

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(603): no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us... http://tfl.nu/rs9m

Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (1096)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

therell be strippers and coke right?

(703): View more from Virginia

no strippers. just coke.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

i hate this fuckin recession

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(202): therell be strippers and coke right? (703): no strippers. just coke. (202): i hate this fuckin recession http://tfl.nu/1tv9

Replies (22) Good night (10850) Bad night (2673)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I forgot how hot balto sounded

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(937): I forgot how hot balto sounded http://tfl.nu/4hja

Replies (18) Good night (3638) Bad night (953)
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(440): View more from Ohio

omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had

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(440): omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had http://tfl.nu/fpfu

Replies (28) Good night (1592) Bad night (3996)
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(810): View more from Michigan

I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.

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(810): I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well. http://tfl.nu/a4oz

Replies (10) Good night (3234) Bad night (611)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.

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(256): I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now. http://tfl.nu/ogzg

Replies (2) Good night (776) Bad night (1205)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.

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(715): I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone. http://tfl.nu/jgmj

Replies (21) Good night (2566) Bad night (958)
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(714): View more from California

I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.

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(714): I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters. http://tfl.nu/itk8

Replies (5) Good night (2784) Bad night (462)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.

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(724): You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking. http://tfl.nu/bbzn

Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (405)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"

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(402): He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by" http://tfl.nu/24bz

Replies (14) Good night (428) Bad night (2129)
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(727): View more from Florida

I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!

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(727): I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that! http://tfl.nu/zrpi

Replies (2) Good night (898) Bad night (547)
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(214): View more from Texas

I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary

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(214): I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary http://tfl.nu/wcin

Replies (9) Good night (272) Bad night (700)
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(425): View more from Washington

So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.

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(425): So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height. http://tfl.nu/0pmh

Replies (9) Good night (577) Bad night (304)
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(727): View more from Florida

I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.

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(727): I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon. http://tfl.nu/enfa

Replies (10) Good night (438) Bad night (369)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right

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(306): Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right http://tfl.nu/4x80

Replies (0) Good night (368) Bad night (388)

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