They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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