he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I need to sanitize my soul.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.