So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.