bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
