my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
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Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina