Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
