I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
as a side note pls kill me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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