But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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