I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
