Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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