ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
