Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
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He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
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Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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