What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
