Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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