He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
