The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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