Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
