Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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