the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
