"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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