you would pick up someone in the library
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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