i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
