I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i think i have two assholes
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
