I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
