I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
