And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
