They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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