We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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