Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize