Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
