his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
