plz talk dirty to me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
