Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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