He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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