the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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