I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
